DCtoBC.com || rockin’ bammas and stuff, young.

editor’s note: cool post that got buried in the riff raff months ago, so i’m bringing it back out while i study hard for my mid-terms and stuff. before you read, press play. then proceed.

the 18-30 demographic contains a rack of huge, die-hard supporters of the internet, especially social networking sites such as facebook and myspace. it’s a way to get their self-esteem from limbo pole low to kanye-esque with virtually no work at all.

i’ll tell you how you do it.

1. upload the most crucial picture you have. pictures say 1,000 words. really, they do. because everybody has that one celebrity status joint. the one where you were popping bottles at the club, and your gear still had tags on from when you purchased it all earlier in the evening. damn, your shape up is so fresh, it’s geometrically flawless. nobody has to know that you’re friends the promoter, and you had to hassle him to even make standing room for you at his table at which you know nobody. and that grey goose and moet was quickly snatched from each paw of yours immediately after the picture was taken. and that was the first hair cut you’ve gotten in a month, and you’re now broke because of it. oh, and that gear? you’re taking it back to the mall tomorrow. that’s why the tags are still on it. but still, though. upload it.

2. hop in any photo opportunity with a bad breezy or two. (and vice versa for the ladies.) remember when you beat TMNT: turtles in time by yourself, but when you told your neighbors they didn’t believe you? that’s because it’s all about evidence, like CSI. you NEED to show the vast social media networks that you know some attractive people! superficial!? of course! but you know that ugly girl stays with her sexy friend in every one of her facebook pictures. you can even go all out and throw a really good one on your "big photo" so everybody sees it.

3. always have a wall, or similar application that people can leave their mark. except for my man kyle miller, everyone should have a wall. otherwise, everyone will think you’re emo. you don’t want that.

4. element of surprise/mystery is key. this goes for everything. wall posts? short, curt posts are the best. you gotta keep people guessing! RSVP for facebook events with a "maybe," regardless of the situation. don’t create too many photo albums. it’s just not good taste. that’s why we have picasa and iPhoto. keep that stuff for the archives. let people tag you up like the subways in harlem. phone number!? no way. screen name!? nope. make people work for that shit like she made shy guy work for the digits on the train. the element of mystery it’s essential.

5. throw up a third-party application that rocks. entourage…honesty box…etc. these things typically suck, but there’s a few ones that the cool people have cherished. i heard bumper stickers is the hottest thing out right now. so maybe you need that on your profile so people can co-sign you as the coolest.

i feel like that’s a good way to get started if you want to become that dude/dudette on facebook.